You Can Go Home Again, And Again

SGF, Simon and I done packed up and moved back to Dallas — again.

Though we had several good reasons for making this move — among them proximity to family, an incredible job opportunity and improved quality of life — leaving proved to be emotionally painful to me, and two months later, I still feel pangs when I think about New York and the people I love there.

My last job lasted a mere one year and two months. I can say with utter sincerity and great satisfaction that I devoted myself entirely to that publication and, more important, to my colleagues there. I have been fond of coworkers in the past. I sobbed bitterly upon leaving the paper so many years ago, and my first company in New York was staffed with some of the finest people I’ve ever known. But never have I grown so attached to a team so quickly as I did with this last bunch. Many of them were young women, including the superior team I was fortunate to manage. Part of the pain of leaving is knowing I won’t get to watch in person as they grow.

So now I am back in Texas, at my old paper but in a new and exciting position, and somehow I have won the coworker lottery again. People have asked me whether it’s “weird” to be back, and the answer is no. It feels completely natural and right to walk those halls again. My colleagues have been incredibly warm and welcoming. The energy among us is good. I’m happy to be a part of it. I’ve loved reconnecting with old friends, and I’m looking forward to knowing some of the newer people better.

“Home” is a somewhat complicated concept for me. Texas is technically home now — my folks are here, much of my history is here, etc. But New York is every bit as much my home. Probably it’s the same with most transplants — the life I had there was all the more special because I made it myself, from scratch. I wasn’t born into my family there — I built it. And truly nothing will ever replace it.

Were I in New York right now, I’d be pining for Texas. In Texas, I am pining — to an extent — for New York. I suspect it will be this way forever.

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