Dear Super Dad,

Guess what? I hate you.

This may be difficult for you to understand, but some people on our block have jobs. For many of us, Saturday morning offers a crucial opportunity to catch up on sleep and such. You’ve robbed us of this opportunity — again.

Sir, you must get your children under control. They must learn that running down the street screaming at 8:30 a.m. on a weekend is not OK. It’s bad enough that you allow them to do so, but the fact that you often join them in running down the street screaming is simply unacceptable.

The fact that you’re a “cool dad” who occasionally rides a scooter alongside his kids does not impress me. In fact, it pisses me off. I’m all for being young at heart and free-spirited and all that, but you clearly are keen on people noticing how young at heart and free-spirited you are. You and the 45-year-old mom who stands outside the school on Joralemon with her scooter and guitar case should really get together. Wait — maybe you ARE together!

Look, I think it’s great that you encourage your children to play outside. But TAKE THEM TO THE PARK to do so.

Rock and Roll Grammarian



Filed under Uncategorized

6 responses to “

  1. BTS

    I’m with you on the dad, but I imagine his carelessness will eventually lead to a valuable lesson about loss. However, does the guitar lady’s existence really affect you enough to write about her during your free time? There has to be more to this. Please elaborate.

  2. Wow. What a negative and unnecessary rant against… nothing. Poorly written, as well.

  3. SLS

    Thank you for your insightful comments, candypants. How are things in Asheville?

  4. You should just make him pay on the other end: wake the kids up at night, it will create an opportunity to confront the issue. If you don’t confront, you’ll just rant and never get satisfaction. Alternatively, you could just wait for the kid to head off to college.

  5. SLS

    Negative? Yes, candypants, I suppose you could interpret this as such. Justifiable? Also a yes. Should you ever leave North Carolina to visit my part of Brooklyn, you may witness the behavior that irritates so many people here. Then again, you may be a scooter-owning Supermom yourself and not understand that it’s rude to wake up the neighborhood with yelling and skateboarding, or force strangers to walk in the street rather than teach your kids common courtesies like walking in single file. As for the woman with the scooter, she’s annoying in part because she and the other parents block people’s paths to the subway while chatting after they’ve dropped off their kids, and also because she’s clearly determined to prove how unconventional she is.I miss Texas.

  6. BTS

    They’re here, too. They’re just not as well-dressed.

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