They are all winners in my book

When I proposed this group project, I had a feeling you, dear readers, would be up to the challenge. I was not wrong.

I know I said I’d rank your entries, but frankly, they’re all so damned hilarious I can’t possibly pick a winner.

The perpetually awesome BTS scored big points with “Mama Told Me Not to Come” and Broadway classic “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair.”

Dennis came through big time with “Man in a Box” and “Norwegian Wood” — oh Dennis, how I miss you and your facility with the official dictionary of The Associated Press.

Katydid’s “I Want It That Way” and mxs’s “Back Door Santa” are also strong additions to the list.

And Erin, sweet Erin. When you take your seat on the Supreme Court, I hope you will look back on your contributions to this endeavor with pride. “It’s Growing,” “Done Too Soon” — these are indeed the products of a great legal mind.

I cannot narrow this esteemed collection to a mere 10. And so, I give you the Top 40 Ostensibly Unintentionally Dirty-Sounding Song Titles or Lyrics

  1. “I Would Do Anything for Love” — Meat Loaf
  2. “December” — Collective Soul
  3. “Way Down in the Hole” — Tom Waits
  4. “Bouncing Round the Room” — Phish
  5. “Come on Eileen” — Dexy’s Midnight Runners
  6. “Mama Told Me Not to Come” — Three Dog Night
  7. “Angry Johnny” — Poe
  8. “Walk this World” — Heather Nova
  9. “I Want it That Way” — The Backstreet Boys
  10. “Beat It” — Michael Jackson
  11. “Eat It” — Weird Al
  12. “Come Together” — The Beatles
  13. “Ticket to Ride” — The Beatles
  14. “Fixing a Hole” — The Beatles
  15. “Monty Got a Raw Deal” — REM
  16. “Here Comes Santa Claus” — Gene Autry
  17. “Into the Great Wide Open” — Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
  18. “Don’t Come Around Here No More” — Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
  19. “Don’t Do Me Like That” — Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
  20. “It’s So Long, Marianne” — Leonard Cohen
  21. “In Through the Out Door” — Pink Floyd
  22. “Hurting Each Other” — The Carpenters
  23. “Done Too Soon” — Neil Diamond
  24. “It’s Growing” — Otis Redding
  25. “Manhole” — Ani Difranco
  26. “Not So Soft” — Ani Difranco
  27. “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” — Elton John
  28. “In Through the Out Door” — Led Zeppelin
  29. “It’s Hard” — The Who
  30. “Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy” — The Who
  31. “Back Door Santa” — Bon Jovi
  32. “The Lemon Song” — Led Zeppelin
  33. “Love Train” — The O’Jays
  34. Big Ten Inch (Record) — Aerosmith
  35. “Norwegian Wood” — The Beatles
  36. “Would?” — Alice in Chains
  37. “Anthem” — Leonard Cohen
  38. “Man in a Box” — Alice in Chains
  39. “Blow the Man Down” — traditional
  40. “I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair” — from South Pacific

I thank you for your efforts here. Nay, America thanks you.



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2 responses to “They are all winners in my book

  1. May I offer Hard to Handle by the Black Crowes, Burden in My Hand by Soundgarden, Excitable Boy by Warren Zevon, and Are you In? by Incubus?Frau

  2. Thank you for the updates, from a Zep freak.And a suggestion: AC/DC – Big Balls

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