I do believe I’ve discovered an amazing hangover prevention method.
By all accounts, I should be curled in the fetal position on my bed right now, sobbing, softly, so as not to aggravate a splitting headache, for ladies and gentleman, I consumed an ungodly amount of adult beverages in record time last night. Songs were sung. Hand signs were employed. Contents of purses were discussed and revealed. All was well with the world.
All should definitely not be well with the world today, yet I feel splendid. Further testing will most certainly be needed, of course, but I suspect the following post-drinking elements helped stave off misery:
- bananas devoured: 1
large spoonfuls of peanut butter consumed: 2
avocados inexplicably craved and subsequently inhaled: 1/2
workouts strategically skipped: 1
moments spent bathed in sweat upon waking at 8 a.m. before remembering I’d forgotten to turn on the AC before heading to bed: enough to theoretically purge much of the previous night’s poison from my body
hours spent in bed: roughly 12
One would think that ingesting so many calories and fat grams on top of an obscene amount of alcohol would render me puffy today, but no! I actually lost a pound. I do not, however, recommend my behavior for weight-loss purposes.